Look what you made me do!

by Antônio // November 15, 2022

If you have ever listened to my and Julie’s radio show — Post-Colonial Stress Disorder (PCSD) — you know that, although we share a similar background as children of colonialism and racism, living in the Global South, and made super aware of the oppressive ways American colleges perceive us…… we have always disagreed on one thing. That is: I believe Kanye had a point when he stood up against Taylor’s victory at the 2009 VMAs.

Julie — a beautiful, young, smart, and brown (like me) girl — was raised to know that female voices deserved more space in the industry; that a young woman like Taylor has never deserved to be treated like that on stage. And, to some extent, I knew that too. Nonetheless, I stand by the idea that the industry has been negligent not only of female voices, but also (and perhaps mainly) of voices of colour. For me, Kanye’s statement stealing that mic was a statement against structural and cultural racism. And I stand by that.

It happens that, since Julie and my boyfriend (who are best friends) forced me to listen to Red (Taylor’s version), I have started warming up to our blondie. She grew on me when she said that he tossed the keychain on the ground and that… oh well… fuck the patriarchy!

Last week, when getting off my usual metro station, I passed by a vinyl shop and found myself impulsively asking if they had the blue disco version of Midnights. Not gonna lie, it was perhaps the most expensive album I ever acquired, but I do not regret it for a single moment. Not only it is a masterpiece, but it also represents my walking away from Kanye’s recent antisemitic and overall problematic statements. I am a new man, and that album was a turning point for me. I know I’m the problem, it’s me; I know that we were born to be the pawn; but, more than anything, I now know that karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend now.

Although a former Kanye stan (literally my Twitter bio), I am now going insane as I wait in line for the Eras Tour presale tickets. I grew, Taylor. I am not the same. But I understand if, as a medium for karma, you allowed me to be the only one in my friend group to be chosen as a verified fan on Ticketmaster just so that you could… at the last minute… not let me buy a ticket.

AHA! You thought I would be doing a funny album review over here, or perhaps sharing a new playlist, but I am genuinely just ranting about a blond woman whose concert I will probably miss.

Hugs from your (now publicly apologetic) blog bestie,